Overcoming Fear with the Power of Charisma

Conquer Your Fear of Failure

2006-04-10T06:15:00.000-05:00

by Art Gueli

The first time you tried to walk, you fell down. Let me ask you something...Are you now afraid of walking?

You've already failed many times, although you may not remember. And that's mainly because you've already conquered your fear of failure in those areas.

The next time you feel like quitting, remember this story:

At age 22 he failed in business; at age 23 he ran for state legislature and lost; at age 24 he failed in business again; at age 26 his sweatheart died and he was broken-hearted; at age 27 he had a nervous breakdown; at age 34 he ran for Congress and lost; at age 39 he ran for Congress again, and lost again; at age 46 he ran for Senate and lost; at age 47 his ticket lost when he ran for Vice President; at age 49 he ran for Senate again, and lost again; at age 51 he ran and was elected as the President of the United States.

His name was Abraham Lincoln.

Make up your mind that if you try anything worthwhile, you will fail at it first.

Learn something, and try again.

Every baseball fan knows that Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs, but they probably won't be able to tell you that he struck out 1,330 times.

R.H. Macy failed in seven different business endeavors before his store in New York caught on.

English novelist John Creasy got 753 rejection slips before he published his 564 books

Jonas Salk worked for fifteen years before he found the vaccine for polio. That was FIFTEEN YEARS of CONTINUOUS FAILURE for ONE SUCCESS! But look at the benefit to mankind.

I suggest we revise one old adage to: "If something is worth doing, it's worth doing badly."

Anything you can do well the first time you try it is too simple to be of any consequence.

Several years ago, Columbia University was revising a part of the curriculum for their graduate business school and asked dozens of successful businessmen what the most important ingredient for success was.

The answer wasn't charisma, education, money, salesmanship,or leadership qualities.

It was persistence.

You don't learn much when you're successful, but you certainly learn when you do something wrong. Learn to lookat your failures as learning experiences and you'll begin to almost look foreward to failing (almost).

Success and failure have the same root - the desire to achieve - but avoiding failure is not the same as achieving success.

Failure is determined by what you allow to happen, success by what you make happen.

It is extremely important to emphasize the concept of failure as a positive experience in your life. The only time failure becomes negative is when you stop the effort after the failure.

When you give up.

There's only one thing worse - not trying in the first place.

So don't worry about failure. Worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try.

About the Author
This article is just 1 of a 9-part self-improvement series hailed as "Invaluable!", "Life-Changing!", and "Inspiring!"

You can read subscribers' testimonials and register for the entire course FREE at: SuccessMethods.org

Online Dating - Interview with Men

2006-04-01T12:20:00.000-05:00

by ChristineHancock

What is a good way to find out more about online dating? Going to all of the online dating websites is one way to do it, but it doesn't really tell you about online dating. They just want to get you to sign up.

Another way would be one of your friends telling you about it. Another way is to just find someone who has tried online dating and ask him about the experience, both positive and negative. That is exactly what I plan to do in this article.

Of course, the men I am going to interview for the article wish to remain anonymous, so I will just call them Online Dater 1, 2, and 3.

We will begin with online dater 1; (a 37-year-old male)

Me: How did you hear about online dating?

Online Dater 1; How can you not hear about it. You get emails, popups at websites, etc. You'd have to live under a rock to have not heard about online dating.

Me: Where and how did you meet your first online date?

Online Dater 1; At Match.com. I was searching profiles and found a few women that I might be compatible with and sent them emails. I paid for a membership there so I would be allowed to email them.

Me: How long did you chat with this person online before you two decided to date in person?

Online Dater 1; We exchanged several emails before we actually exchanged phone numbers. And basically, one fairly long phone call turned into a date.

Me: What was it about them that made you want to meet them in person and did you feel they were your soul mate?

Online Dater 1; I thought she was sweet. She shared a lot of the same values I did, or said she did, anyway. She piqued my interest. I never thought of her as my soul mate, but did want to get to know her better.

Me: Was your first impression of her, upon seeing her in person a surprise, a positive reaction, or a negative reaction?

Online Dater 1; To be honest, she looked absolutely nothing like her picture. She had posted of picture of herself, much younger, and about 150 pounds lighter. However, she was still a very pretty lady.

Me: So, tell us what happened after meeting her in person.

Online Dater 1; We dated a couple of times. I did like her. I understand why she was still single at 38 years old. She wanted Antonio Banderas to wine and dine her and quite frankly neither of us was in that league. Her standards were far too high.

Okay, next I will be talking to a 29-year-old male about his experience.

Me: How did you hear about online dating?

Online Dater 2; Match.com emails.

Me: Where did you meet your first online date?

Online Dater 2; Same answer, emails from Match.com got me to sign up. I received an email from a girl who saw my profile.

Me: How long did you chat with this person online before you two decided to meet in person?

Online Dater 2; A couple of days. We talked by email for a couple of days, then by phone for a couple of days.

Me: What was it about them that made you want to meet them in person and did you feel they were your soul mate?

Online Dater 2; She was just really nice, sincere, honest sounding. She didn't seem to just be saying what I wanted to hear. I felt her answers were honest. Everyone has their ups and downs in life and she was open about the things she was going through and things she had gone through. The openness impressed me. Did I think she was my soulmate? Honestly, yes.

Me: Was your first impression of her, upon seeing her in person a surprise, a positive reaction, or a negative reaction?

Online Dater 2; A positive reaction, totally. She matched her picture and profile to the letter and was smiling like an angel.

Me: So, tell us what happened after meeting her in person.

Online Dater 2; We dated frequently from day one. We were both obviously very interested in each other. In a very short time we both knew we were in love with each other. Within two months I knew she was the girl I wanted to marry. We've been happy ever since.

Last, a 38-year-old male shares his online dating experience with us.

Me: How did you hear about online dating?

Online Dater 3; A friend of mine suggested I try online dating. He had gone from never having a date to having a date every weekend, so I thought I would try it too.

Me: Where did you meet your first online date?

Online Dater 3; Yahoo Chat. I didn't go directly to an online dating website, I put my free profile up in Yahoo Personals and someone contacted me through Yahoo Messenger.

Me: How long did you chat with this person online before you two decided to meet in person?

Online Dater 3; We only chatted for about an hour before deciding to meet in person. It was really quick. She suggested we meet in person. It was like 9pm at night and she suggested or hinted that something might actually, "happen" tonight. Since my friend had so much luck with online dating, I figured, what the heck.

Me: What was it about them that made you want to meet them in person and did you feel they were your soul mate?

Online Dater 3; That doesn't really apply here as far as the whole soulmate thing. She lived close by and well, I am a guy.

Me: Was your first impression of her, upon seeing her in person a surprise, a positive reaction, or a negative reaction?

Online Dater 3; None of those. She was alright, kind of plain, but still attractive. She didn't really have much personality and I don't think either of us were looking for personality that night.

Me: So, tell us what happened after meeting her in person.

Online Dater 3; This is where it gets ugly. We had fun the first evening. A couple of days later I invited her to my house. And again, it was okay, but I realized that this was not the girl for me. So, I politely told her that I really did not want to continue seeing her.

Four days later, on a non-exciting Sunday Night, I climbed into the shower before going to bed. About 15 minutes into my shower, this girl, unannounced, appeared IN my shower professing her undying love. My front doors were LOCKED, she broke into my house, stripped down, and climbed into my shower.

I started having visions of the movie, Fatal Attraction. I asked her to leave. She said no. I had to actually have the police remove her!

Me: Does this mean you won't be dating anyone from online ever again?

Online Dater 3; No, not at all, however, the chatroom hookups are out of the question. I would prefer to go with a legitimate company that has some sort of screening process.

Okay, I would sum up my various interviews like this. You will meet some people you like and some you don't. There will be successful online dating experiences and there will be failures. But not to try online dating at all is to have already failed. Just as online dater 3 said though, go to a legitimate online dating service and not just to some chatroom.

About the Author
None Christine Hancock runs "The Personals Network!" There are hundreds of online dating sites out there today, so how do you know which one to choose? That's why we decided to build Online Dating, your #1 resource for info on the top Dating Sites on the web! http://www.onlinedating.pn

Bring Your Gorgeous Self out from Within...

2006-02-03T07:48:00.000-05:00

by Fritz Blanc

To this day, there are lots of talks on TV, radio, etc. about how to improve yourself, build your self esteem or tap into the power within you. Some motivational trainers are capitalizing on that, making a killing with their self help tapes and lectures charging thousand of dollars for anything from losing weight to becoming more assertive or becoming financially independent. The truth is, only you can change yourself. Only you can make it happen.

I have seen a real live example of this as a teenager in high school and I am a firm believer that anyone can transform themself if they really want to.

Now we have to go back in the days of the weekly series of Charlie's angels, six million dollar man and get smart etc. Of course all the boys wanted to be like Steve Austin (Lee Majors) and all the girls wanted to look like Jamie Summers (Lindsay Wagner) or Loni Anderson.

At one point, during the school season, appears that gorgeous girl apparently from nowhere...needless to say that all the girls were instantly jealous of her because you see, she brought more competition in the school and all the guys wanted to know more about her.

A bit later in the year, she started dating that guy, who happened to be not only the hottest hunk in school but had good grades and also was a team leader. Mind you, the guy wasn't really one of my friends due to the fact that he was about 2 years older and was two years ahead of me academically.

I have to admit that our team leader, hunk and also the boyfriend of the most gorgeous girl in school was also a nice guy, contrary to the belief that we have from movies that most of the jocks are jerks. He would occasionally greet us with a nod in the school hallway.

Now the question was, who is that girl? Where does she come from? I remember thinking with my friend John at the time. John didn't know then but it wouldn't take him too long to find out.

After a bit of digging around, John came back one day and told me! Remember Kathy, she was here last year and the year before but she was just an average looking girl and no one paid much attention to her.

Kathy had come to the realization that she was just average and decided that it was about time that she did something about it. Time to leave average behind and let her natural beauty come out from within.

No one can tell for sure what Kathy did to her hair, clothes, body, etc, but anyone knew right away when she walked into a room. All of a sudden, she had grace, beauty, self assurance and charisma. She was by now sporting the superb looks of a model with makeup that would emphasize her strong points and clothes that would make anyone turn around to look at her a second time. In short she was the envy of everyone in school.

Now when I hear about improving yourself, I immediatly think about how Kathy went from an average looking girl to the girl that demanded attention from everybody around her whenever she strutted about with a new found self from within.

About the Author
Fritz Blanc is a part time internet marketer who has created many web sites about various subjects. You can visit one of his web sites on memory and concentration at: http://www.the-koran.com/concentration/concentration

7 Key Steps to Unshakable Confidence

2005-09-16T08:10:00.000-05:00

Get The Special Report "The Power of Charisma"
Now at http://gettingrichfast.com/charisma.html

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By Steve Brunkhorst

Do you remember that day? Perhaps it was your first job interview. Perhaps you were speaking to a group for the first time. Maybe you were starting a challenging new career or meeting a special person for the first time. Your throat became dry and your knees wanted to shake.

You were about to leave a place of mental and emotional safety. You were putting your skills on the line and taking a risk. If you were successful, there could be great reward. However, self-doubt was trying to discourage you.

Confidence is essential in our lives; without it, we will not make the first attempt to do what we really want. Confidence allows us to move forward despite temporary discouragement. So where does confidence come from, and how can we become and remain confident? Here are seven actions that will help to develop unshakable confidence.

1. Expand Your Knowledge

Gaining new skills for any endeavor - personal or career - is the first step toward confidence. Identify key areas where you need more confidence to be successful. Then expand your knowledge by taking courses, reading books, and attending learning events. Tele-classes are enjoyable and convenient for learning and discussing ideas with a peer group. Continuous learning is essential for maintaining a high level of confidence.

2. Experience Small Successes

Confidence also comes from experiencing small daily successes. They are like rewards for putting knowledge into action. They may not be the final goal. Yet they are important. Even a pat on the back from a colleague or a compliment for a job well done will boost a person's level of confidence. Keep track of each small success you experience. You will begin to feel your confidence grow day by day.

3. Exercise Passionate Faith

Confident people have faith that the Creator has a special plan for their lives. They appear to know inherently that when they follow this plan, they will be successful. If you want to achieve something, you absolutely must believe that it is possible for you. You must believe firmly in your potential. A passionate faith will lead you to find and follow that purpose.

4. Enable Firm Resolve

There will be disappointments and set backs. It is natural to become discouraged at times. However, disappointments are not the end of the road if we view them as learning tools.

Faith in your abilities will lead you past discouragement into a firm resolve. Resolve overcomes obstacles because it displays patience. Instead of giving up, you will meet challenges by continuing through difficult times. Keep your mind on your intended outcome, not on the obstacles. Think of reasons why you can, not reasons why you cannot.

With time, talents develop and abilities grow. Then you will get a taste of what is possible -- a measure of success that leads you forward with enthusiasm. Enthusiasm keeps you fired up to achieve more of those small daily successes.

5. Enlist Expert Help

Enlist the help of experts in areas where you need more confidence. Experts can be found though books, articles, videos, seminars, or via a phone call. A professional coach will help you stay focused on your objectives and hold you accountable for taking the necessary actions to complete your plans.

Confidence also attracts more confidence. Experts will support your plans and offer to help you in tremendous ways if you are enthusiastic and believe in your goals. Moreover, when you show confidence in others, they will show confidence in you.

6. Envision Confidence

Envisioning confidence begins to make confidence real in your experience. Imagine how you will feel and act if you already had the confidence you need for a specific situation. See yourself in your mind's eye, acting with courage and conviction. Hold that picture in your mind, and your vision will start to become real.

7. Expect to be Confident

Expectation is faith in action. Now that you have imagined how confidence will feel, act as if you were already confident. Move assuredly and energetically as you go for your goals. You are now seeing, feeling, and acting in a confident manner. You will achieve what you expect. Expect to be confident, and you will become confident.

Give yourself time to increase your confidence by using these actions during the next several months. Get a sheet of paper now and write down how you will apply each of these actions. They can make a tremendous difference by allowing you to move more quickly and assuredly toward your objectives. Today, you can begin developing an unshakable confidence that will bring you joy and success in every area of your life.

© Copyright 2005 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional success coach who assists individuals to achieve their objectives and lead joyous confident lives. Get Steve's popular ezine, Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, bringing inspirational and motivational nuggets to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Visit http://www.AchieveEzine.com

Get The Special Report "The Power of Charisma"
Now at http://gettingrichfast.com/charisma.html

The Power of Charisma!

2005-09-16T07:41:00.000-05:00

Get your copy of the Power of Charisma Ebook and Audiobook and all the priceless special bonuses at http://gettingrichfast.com/charisma.html for the next three days only!

You Too Can Have Charisma

2005-08-23T10:32:00.000-05:00

By Jeannie Crabtree

Do you know anyone that everyone seems to be drawn to? You continue to watch as this person moves around the room attracting and chatting with and making friends with many
people.

What do they have that you don't think you have? Charisma.

Professor of psychology Howard Friedman (University of California-Riverside) is a specialist in non-verbal communication. He defines charisma as "a certain presence."

When charismatic people enter a room, their mere presence draws attention and their energy may radiate to enliven the entire gathering. At the core of this charisma, says Friedman, is "a basic self-confidence" and the ability to project this to others.

Look inside, you have the makings for charisma too.

Charisma is that special quality of magnetism that each person has and that each person uses to a certain degree. The people who look up to you, who respect and admire you, the members of your family and your friends and co-workers would probably say that they find you charismatic.

Why? Because whenever one person feels a positive emotion towards another, he imbues that person with charisma

To develop charisma, you just need to learn how the charismatic person acts and how they think.
You too will be able to inspire people, ignite their enthusiasm, persuade them to see things your way, and do what you want them to-without creating defensiveness or resentment.

You see, that's the beauty of charisma. Charisma doesn't turn you into a crafty trickster, pulling the wool over people's eyes and fooling them. When you unleash your charisma -- which is really just saying when you live and speak authentically, from a place of "inner truth" -- people will naturally want to be on your side.

Article by Jeannie Crabtree. Learn how to develop Self Confidence and Charisma. The Power Of "Charisma" will guide you step by step. http://www.personalcharisma.com

5 Powerful Steps To Unleashing Your Creative Self

2005-08-16T08:49:00.000-05:00

Sign up for your Free Power of Charisma 7-part ecourse here: http://gettingrichfast.com/charisma/index.html

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By Brett Krkosska

There is a thread of certainty that runs through many lives. It is sensed as a measured and anticipated rhythm of predictability built upon our notions of how things have been and how they will continue to be.

While this is comforting and provides a sense of continuity to our lives, it is also limiting and not conducive to unleashing our creative selves. Here are five steps you can take to break the mold of predictability and expand your horizons in ways you never imagined.

1. Acknowledge And Release The Past

The mundane concerns of existence that propel us through our days often leads to a deadening of exhilaration; a striping away of the possibility for anything out of the ordinary.

Walking in a haze of memories, expectations, assumptions, guilts, worries - bombardments on our psychological and emotional centers - we are often oblivious to moments of complete amazement and wonder. We are wholly unaware and uninterested in seeing what is already there, but not yet recognized.

By bringing the preceding moment into this moment, you are unfairly coloring the outcome of this moment to look the same as before. Creating true change in your life begins by acknowledging and releasing the past, whether it be good or bad.

In fact, see the bad things for what they really are: revelations of what is truly good. For if life were all rosy and nothing bad ever happened, how would you know things were rosy? You would have no reference point; nothing to compare rosy against.

Release the past and you are free from a linear, pre-ordained future.

2. Say Thank You

Appreciate your life for what it has been. Give yourself a pat on the back for everything that brought you to this exact moment. Congratulate yourself on doing the best you could.

Give thanks to yourself, for the people around you, and to the source of life that allows you to say, "Here I Am!"

Practice sincere gratitude several times throughout your day. In this way you are able to stay connected with your creative energies and recognize abundance in the world.

3. Create Your Day

Imagine yourself awakening each morning to exclaim, "This is how I shall create my day!" How many people aspire to create moments that shape the day around them, rather than allowing the moments of their yesterdays to serve up the ordinary menu of today?

When you awake each morning, start out by deciding on the outcome of the day. We have been taught from an early age that the outside world determines our actions and our state of mind. This is not true. You have freewill. Use it.

Decide for yourself how you will feel and what you will accomplish. Do you want to be happy that day? Do you want to begin writing a operatic ballad? It doesn't matter what it is. Just declare it. Simple as that.

If you don't know what to declare on a given day, always start with happiness. Affirm your decision to be happy. Remember that happiness is a state of being, not a reaction. Don't allow outside events determine whether you will be happy. Create the commandment in your mind and you will find that happiness exists in the strangest of places.

Fully expressing your creative self takes practice, especially if you are in the habit of reacting to the moments of your day. You are rewiring the neural connections in your brain. You are breaking old connections. With practice, creativity becomes a habit.

4. Expect The Unexpected

Consider the clarity and simple freedom that comes from being unattached to the unfolding of a moment in your life. How does it feel to be an observer; an inconsequential witness? Most of us have experienced these special moments to some degree. Can you recall such moments? Do you remember how it felt to be completely in the world, but not an immediate player within it? Simply watching. Uninterested. Non-judgmental.

At these times it is not unlike staring without prejudice into a fish tank. It makes no difference in what direction the fish swim. It matters not the size of the bubbles percolating from the bottom. It's of no concern the manner in which the water ripples on the surface.

If the moments of your life were observed in such a manner, you could then decide the meaning of circumstances in your life with fresh eyes. Moments would exist within the space of a moment. The meaning of the next moment could then be nothing, or anything. There are literally no limits.

Therefore, aspire to be an unattached observer each day. This doesn't mean you can't feel things. By all means, feel things with passion. Yet, be the observer of your passion. Be in your emotions, but not swept away by them. Watch your reactions, say hello to how you feel, and watchfully move on under the creative mandates you set for yourself at the beginning of the day.

What happens when you let go and be the observer? The unexpected happens. The clarity of purpose you defined at the beginning of the day is ever-present around you. Now you are free to notice, from among the thousands of pieces of information entering your brain each moment, the meaning of things which encapsulate your purpose.

5. Believe

What if the meaning of your moments was like the first flush of rapture found in the eyes of a new-found lover? Can you imagine such wonder and amazement, such endless depth, in the moments of your day?

When moments are free of preconceptions that have been brought forward, then the possibility of infinite futures take form. These are the times when you can indulge the ending of your story however you choose.

What is the ending? It is no more or less than the extent of your belief in what is possible. It is the ending that holds meaning for you; void of conjecture that your environment might not relinquish the prize of your choice.

It is an illusion to think that the environment around you exists without you. The environment exists because of you. You are the master. The stimuli that enters your brain through your senses is timeless, formless, and meaningless. You bring to your environment the meaning of your choice.

Your environment is like sand on a beach, smooth and undisturbed until your footprints change its landscape. A few come to build castles in the sand, while most simply wonder the water's edge while their footprints wash back into the sea.

The universe listens to those who ask. And of those who ask, it is those who expect to be answered who will receive. Do not say you want the thing you desire. For the universe will deem your request already answered. To want is not to have. Do not say you will have it. That is the same as wanting.

Instead, have the thing you desire. Make up your mind it is already yours. Believe it is so because it is so. There is no elaborate, complex formula. It is as simple as breathing.

Now watch. Your desire has been granted. The universe has delivered it. With your new, unfiltered, of-the-moment vision, your steps lead right to it.

Putting it all together, here are the steps to fully expressing your creative nature:

Acknowledge the past and release it from this moment.
Give thanks to yourself, all things, and all persons.
Create your day on purpose. Decide and resolve.
Be watchful and expect the unexpected.
Believe.

Do you know the most wonderful thing about creating your life on purpose?

You are in fact changing the world in no less significance than the achievements of the greatest teachers through all the ages.

For when the masses transform the beaches into glistening and interweaved towers of sand then the world will change in indescribable ways. The unknown becomes infinite. Chaos becomes opportunity. Improbability becomes possibility. Certainty becomes purpose. Creativity becomes boundless.

Brett Krkosska is a freelance writer and syndicated columnist. Visit his site, http://www.GodUnplugged.com for perspectives and commentary on the issues of life.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Real Charisma, Clinton Style

2005-08-14T18:02:00.000-05:00

By Daniel Sitter

What exactly is Charisma? Most would agree that it is a magical, illusive, personal quality, divinely endowed on some people more than others. One thing is for certain, it is more easily identified than defined. It is the secret to being liked and agreed with by others. It is the much sought-after quality that causes people to envy others because of their congeniality and ease at which they interact with people. Charisma, like many other character traits, may be gifted more to some, but regardless of your given level, charisma, like any other skill, can be further developed.

It is officially defined as "an unusual ability to influence people and arouse devotion" and "a personal attractiveness that enables you to influence others." Other definitions describe it as "a gift, the ability to charm or influence people" and "appeal, magnetism, presence and leadership ability." Dr. Tony Alessandra defines charisma as "the ability to influence others positively by connecting with them physically, emotionally, and intellectually." Harvard anthropologist Charles Lindholm defines it as "above all, a relationship, a mutual mingling of the inner selves of leader and follower."

Charisma certainly has several key components, Dr. Alessandra choosing to summarize them as intellectual, physical and emotional. Intellectual charisma is often characterized by an impressive vocabulary and an ability to draw out the best and most thoughtful ideas from others. A well-read person with an impressive and resonating speaking style is usually associated with being very charismatic. A person who is extremely well educated but not arrogant might too be considered as charismatic. Leadership ability is often associated with charisma.

Physical charisma is often evident simply because of ones commanding presence and impressive physical stature. It may also be embellished by the relative attractiveness of that person, whether male or female. A great handshake, a confident, articulate voice and positive eye contact that conveys "I am interested in learning more about you and respect you immensely" are all means of conveying charisma. Great posture, proximity and even wardrobe all adds to a persons' charismatic quotient.

Emotional charisma is conveyed by a sense of being a deep thinker or one who is willing to ponder the larger picture. These people have a tendency to bring out the best in the rest of us by causing us to dig deeper emotionally and seek out better answers to the challenges in life. They see more in us than we sometimes see in ourselves. They are both motivating and captivating people.

Charismatic people have a "twinkle" or "sparkle" in their eye. You know what I mean. They have the essence of a positive and energizing manner of thought and immediately are able to transfer that feeling to others. These traits allow the charismatic person to connect easily with others. A charismatic person will illuminate a room by simply walking into it. We have all experienced this feeling as we have personally witnessed the change of mood or emotional intensity in a room simply because of the presence of an individual who has just entered.

A great example of a well known charismatic person is former president Bill Clinton. Whether or not you agree with his politics or antics, most people would agree that he might arguably be one of the most charismatic leaders of our time. Why? Was he always correct? Did he have the total support of the Congress or the American people? Did other world leaders always see things his way? Was he faultless? Of course he was not. He was never any of those things.

What President Clinton has is an uncanny ability to persuade people to his point of view. He has the ability to make a connection with people at all levels by being sincerely interested in them. His influence on others is profound. He has a commanding physical presence, yet maintains a boyish charm. He is extremely intelligent and well-read. He is articulate yet not at all condescending. Many would describe him as handsome. He has possessed and experienced the power of the Presidency of the United States. He also has that "sparkle" in his eye. The man has great charisma!

Can you be charismatic like President Clinton? Certainly you can. You already have some charisma, certain strengths and abilities that others find attractive. Develop these. Look people in the eye. Listen carefully when you are conversing. Take a genuine interest in their point of view. Be quick to forgive minor errors and sincerely issue compliments and polite gratitude where appropriate. You may not be able to do anything about your physical stature, but you can still have a commanding presence by means of your confidence level, your posture, your voice and your eye contact.

Charisma is not merely a gift from God that was bestowed upon some people, but given to all. You have some charisma, just like President Clinton. Determine your strengths and build on those first. Target other areas where you would like to grow and get busy. Making the effort to further develop your charisma is truly gratifying and will surely pay you back in spades.

Daniel Sitter is the author of the popular, breakthrough e-book, Learning For Profit. Designed for busy people, this new book teaches simple, step-by-step accelerated learning skills, demonstrating exactly how to learn anything faster than ever before. It's currently available from the author’s web site http://www.learningforprofit.com/ and a variety of online software and book merchants. Mr. Sitter is a contributing writer for several online and traditional publications. His expertise includes sales, marketing, self-improvement and general business interests.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

How To Repel The Opposite Sex

2005-06-22T06:28:00.000-05:00

by T. O' Donnell

There is a war between the sexes. This war is based on a misunderstanding. The misunderstanding is this:

Women think that men think like women.
Men think that women think like men.

A woman does this:

Prepares a meal of food she likes - bitter, lean, salady, light, and expects her date to like it;
Borrows a romantic DVD, with plenty of crying;
Wears a scent *she* likes;
Dresses to please her mainly female colleagues;
Keeps company with women, and acts in solidarity with them;
Trades secrets with other women, and feels empowered by so doing;
Has deep and wide-ranging feelings;
Is concerned with the feelings of those around her;
Abhors dirt and disorder;
Rages and cries at the smallest thing, once a month;
Words mean whatever she's feeling at the time;

A man does this:

Not too fussed about food - likes heavy, sweet, stodgy grub;
Borrows an action or comic DVD, with no sob-stuff;
A quick wash under the armpits and we're good to go;
Dresses to intimidate other men;
Happily keeps company with men, women, criminals, a dog, anything, as long as it doesn't talk too much;
Trades mock punches, slaps on the back, cruel jokes, and has a good laugh;
One mood, all the time;
Is not too bothered about other people's feelings, unless he's done something *really* bad;
Secretly enjoys living in his own filth;
Last cried a few years ago, and did it in private;
Words mean as the dictionary defines them;

Now, how can these two distinct creatures ever get together?

Simple. Each has to start thinking like the other, just a little bit. Each has to research the other's fantasy world, and reflect it back to the object of desire.

A good source of research is the magazine rack in your local supermarket. Men should look at womens' magazines, and vice-versa. Men will discover that women fantasise about men who are:

Pretty-boys;
Slim;
Muscular (like a swimmer, not a weight-lifter);
Fashionably dressed;
Patrician;
Tight-fitting trousers;
Attentive;
Wealthy;
Powerful;
Confident;
Popular;
Makes her laugh;
Takes charge;
Can discuss his feelings occasionally;
Yet isn't a wet dish-cloth;

Women will discover that men fantasise about:

Hussies.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist that.)

Men fantasise about women who are:

Pretty;
Good size bust;
Exotic (foreign);
Flirtatious;
Tight-fitting top;
A hint of underclothing 'accidentally' revealed;
Just might be a bit 'naughty';
Laughs at his jokes;
Has a strong personality (extrovert, introvert, doesn't matter);

Ladies: Men may bed a hussy, but they tend not to marry one. They won't bring a wildcat or crazed neurotic home to mother.

For men, physical types vary. Not all gentlemen prefer blondes. Beauty is a matter of proportion. YOU may think your nose/bottom/breasts are too big/small. Don't listen to your neuroses, or female friends who try to subtly undermine you, or lie to you to boost your confidence.

Get a few photos taken of yourself in tight clothes, put said photos in a drawer for a week, then glance at them again.

Your immediate reaction is probably the correct one.

Understand that men are in the grip of a powerful compulsion. *Any* woman can be attractive to *some* man. You just have to put yourself in his way. Staying at home, keeping to the same circle of friends, the same routine, won't help. Go to where there are men of the calibre you desire. And look at them.

Gentlemen: You have to give the impression that you are confident, wealthy, powerful, (and sensitive in private with her). If you don't have these qualities, fake them. Women need to see potential, and the origin of the word potential is the Latin 'potentia', meaning power.

How will you know if a girl is interested in you? She gives you a second glance. Try smiling. If she smiles back, you're in!

It's a myth that men gain women by chasing them. Women assess men, then give the big gits 'the come on'. You just need the confidence to walk over and say hello.

If you can think of a witty remark, make one. If you can't, just smile. Say hello. Ask a pertinent question. Then listen to what she has to say. Which, if she likes you, will be a lot.

Lastly: don't over-think it. We are attracted to a certain type, with whom we can make a better baby; more robust, healthier, smarter, better adapted to its environment. Other types just don't click with us, 'though we can acknowledge intellectually they are attractive. It's a heart thing, a guts thing, and parts lower down. The head merely gives its assent to a decision already made.

The shame is not that you don't find your onely love; the shame is in not making yourself available to your destiny, and giving life your all. Go to!

About the Author
T. O' Donnell (http://www.tigertom.biz ) is an ecommerce consultant in London, UK. His latest project is an ebook on conservatories in the UK, available at http://www.tigertom.com/conservatories-uk/index.shtml.

Blueprint for Leadership - How to Be a Better Leader

2005-05-30T19:30:00.000-05:00

Tap into your deepest resource - The Power Of Charisma
Click Here!

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by Steve Kaye

If you were to build a house, you would begin with a blueprint. This blueprint proves useful because it contains more than directions on how to build a house. It also describes the finished house.

So, what does this have to do with leadership?

Last month I asked an audience of leaders to tell me the characteristics of an ideal leader. Their answers were (in the order collected):

A good listener, enthusiasm, passion, shows appreciation, a visionary, role model, trusting, integrity, organized, knowledgeable, credibility, persuasive, charisma, team building, clarity of purpose, problem solver, attitude of service, leads by example, patience, willing to act without complete knowledge, understands followers, consistent, empowers other people, and adapts to change.

I'll add that this is essentially the same list that I receive from other audiences when I ask this question. From this comes some useful insights.

1) Notice what the list contains. All of these characteristics relate to the human side of leadership. That's interesting because I often hear people minimize this side of leadership with terms like "soft" or "touchy feely." Actually, applying these characteristics requires more strength than not.

2) Notice what the list excludes. Absent from this list (and all lists from other programs) are characteristics such as stern, mean, serious, short tempered, vindictive, tough, angry, harsh, punitive, controlling, violent, or ruthless. And that's interesting because many popular representations of leadership emphasize at least one of these "hard" characteristics. In fact, these characteristics are the refuge of those who lack the strength (or the skills) to apply the human side of leadership.

3) How about you? How would you rate yourself as a leader compared to the list of positive characteristics? If you were to survey the people who report to you, how would they describe your leadership? Would they list characteristics from the "soft" list or from the "hard" list? Could you become more effective by improving upon any of the "soft" characteristics? And how about the other leaders in your organization? Do they truly maximize human potential?

People want leaders who treat them with genuine compassion, courtesy, and respect. They want leaders who help them become more successful. They want leaders who inspire them with a vision for a better world and show them how to go there.

About the Author

IAF Certified Professional Facilitator and author Steve Kaye works with leaders who want to hold effective meeting. His innovative workshops have informed and inspired people nationwide. His facilitation produces results that people will support. Call 714-528-1300 or visit his web site for over 100 pages of valuable ideas. Sign up for his free newsletter at http://www.stevekaye.com

Manifesting Basics

2005-05-18T09:23:00.000-05:00

by Judi Singleton

Since I was in my 30's I have been working with conscious manifestation. I understood long before I ever heard of things like; quantum physics, or the law of attraction, that I manifested according to my thoughts. When I was in High School I heard this loud and clear in my Catholic School that thinking thing was just like doing them. I read in my Grandma's Unity books all about manifesting what I thought.

Then later as I went to Unity Church they taught me these laws. So you see this is not "New Age." You do manifest everything in your life. You always have manifested everything in your life.

So let's take the steps to manifesting apart so that we can look at the process of manifestation, and in doing so be a deliberate creator.

How do we create our reality? We create our reality through thoughts and feelings.

Thoughts

Many of our thoughts are unconscious. This is Higher Powers way of not muddling up this now. Since time is not real and we are always in the now; if all the nows we ever experienced were present in this now; we would have to much input and become overwhelmed. So much of our life is stored in the unconscious. Now a lot of this data we stored when we were really young. Lots of it was stored before we were five years old. So lots of the data there is distorted from a five year olds perspective.

My Mother had this saying, "Don't you ever raise your hand to me." I must of heard this over and over before I was five years old. I got the idea that I had some kind of power in my hands that would harm. So even when I went to school I would not raise my hand. This is an example of how subsconious thoughts might be distorted.

I bring this up because when we are bringing things from the subconsious to light we have to take this in consideration. Memories can be very distorted. Things that did happen sometimes are all lumped together and they did not happen at the same time but in our memory they did. Our subconscious just stores data much like a big computer for future use. Like a computer some of this data gets corrupted. So when we declutter the unconscious we might chose to check memories out with someone else that was there. We might ask someone how old we were when such and such happened to check out if just our age had something to do with how we remember it. Anyway lots of postive and lots of negative things got stored.

What we want to deal with today is replacing all the negative with positive. Now if I go back to my Catholic school and Unity learning. They told me way back then think postive, visualize in a postive manner, only read things that are positive, only watch positive TV or movies. Well they did have TV and movies back then. Why did they tell me that because even then they only wanted me to store the positive because then I would think positive things and create a positive world.

Since everything that went into my computer called my subsconscious was not positive.
Plus we are all hooked into something called the "mass consciousness" or Jung called it the collective unconscious then every thought we have is no necessarily our own. It is influenced by what others have thought about that particular thing.
So anyway how do we get the most positive thoughts in our unconscious mind. We can use affirmations and couple them with visualization.
Now some of you are going to say wow affirmations don't work they are boring. But let's think of a few basic things here:

1. It took years to fill up our subsconscious with negative thoughts, our thoughts are influenced by our age that thought first was experienced, and we all are connected to the mass consciousness so nothing is going to change overnight by saying a few postive words.

2. When we say affirmations we need to use presence tense. The subsconscious mind does not know the difference between the nows because it does not store things in a time sequence. So When we say an affirmation we always use the presence tense.
Example

I am now a millionaire.
Not

Next year I will be a millionaire

3.e only positive terms
example

I eat all I want and all I eat turns to energy
Not

I do not overeat

All the subsconsious hears in the above statement is the overeat so what do you do you overeat.

Feelings

What we think creates how we feel. So by thinking joyful, exciting, peaceful, loving thoughts we create joy, excitment, peace and love.
When we think anxiously, fearfully, we are worried we create fear, anxiety and worry.
Now this is all the same energy we decide how to think with it. No one thinks in your head but you. You can also decide whether to think joy or fear. So get excited sing your affirmation. "I am a wonderful, loving, joyful person." sing it in the shower, sing it in the car on the way to work. Remember a time in your life when you were really joyful. Now your subconsious does not recognise different nows. So bring that joyful time into this now. Think about a special place you went with a special person, think how happy you were. This will bring your vibration up and help your thoughts or affirmations to manifest.

CHOICES OR DECISIONS

Many people fail to manifest the things that they desire in life because they are afraid to choose. They are prefectionists they do not want to make a mistake.
You must be clear about what you want. You have to make a choice and then clarify that choice before you can get what you want. The universe always says yes to whatever we want be it can't manifest it if we are back and forth and around the board. You might want to make a list of your don't wants and then turn them around to a positive statement of what you do want.
Example
Don't want
I don't want to be fat
I do want
I am now thin and filled with energy
Now a lot of our thinking is done on an unconscios level so we must be aware and catch ourselves thinking. When we catch our selves thinking a negative thought say Stop right out loud and reframe the statement to what you do want.
We always have instant feedback of how we are doing. Stop right now and check out how you are feeling.

1. How are you feeling. Do you feel happy, joyful free then you are aligned with the Universe and can create what you will.

2. Do you feel sad, angry, resentful then you are thinking the wrong thing. All you have to do to change that feeling and raise your vibration is to think happy, joyful thoughts, remember the subsconscious does not divide things by time so you can think of what we call happy past experiences bring them into this now. Think of things, places, people who make you feel really joyful. This will raise your vibration and allow you to manifest what you will.

3. The other gauge of how we are doing is what people are coming into our lives. What experiences we are having. Are they the experiences that we desired. Life is like a mirror. It will draw to us what we are thinking and manifest it. If the things you have manifested are not what you desire then you know you are off base.
Go back clarify what you want, use affirmations, visalizations that help you feel, happy, joyful and free. See yourself as already having the desire you want to manifest. Then look around you have you manifested what you desire. Like I said one gets instant feedback.
Happy manifesting.

About the Author

Judi Singleton is a free lance writer and publisher. She writes ten blogs a week you can subscribe to her blogs at http://www.motherearthpublishing.com

Polar Power: Do Opposites Attract?

2005-04-18T08:11:00.000-05:00

http://gettingrichfast.com/charisma/index.html
The Amazing Power Of Charisma

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by Luigi Di Serio

In physics or energy transmission, we know – (negative) attracts to + (positive) and repels from – (negative). Using the same basic formula we’ll substitute “positive” females and “negative” with males. (Heterosexual Males are attracted to females, and repelled from males)

If you are a male and behave like a male, a heterosexual female will be attracted to you (or at least your gender). But if a male does everything he can to please the opposite sex (pun intended) and acts sweet and friendly and artistic and gentile and kind and submissive and loving and tender, will a very feminine female be attracted to that male?

NOT A CHANCE.

The above listed personality traits are wonderful, but very feminine in nature. A male who possesses and behaves through these qualities (a majority of these qualities as his facade personality) will appear effeminate.

A woman has girlfriends and family to provide her those things anyway. A female needs to feel a powerful, inexplicable attraction towards a male in order for progression to occur towards a sexual and/or committed relationship. If a male is exuding an energy that is very positive, she will be repelled by it. For whatever reason, probably because of thousands of years of evolution and human development, this is an axiom innately embedded into our social and biological ways. Feminine females are attracted to masculine males and vice-versa. Opposites do attract, specifically concerning attraction that is driven by primal sexual instincts.

Today, specifically because of the collapsing of the traditional family and the grey-shading of gender roles and a phenomenon I call unisexification, it is difficult to know how to behave towards the opposite sex, specifically during courtship. Now-a-days assertive or slightly aggressive behavior (which is a universally attractive characteristic of male mammals of ANY specie) is frowned upon, by our legal system and mass media. This is scaring males into become wussies, for fear of getting sued for groping, harassment and other fine-line crimes. By no means am I trivializing the seriousness of sexual harassment or violence towards women. In fact, I would go as far as suggest that because of the social discouragement of certain, natural and intrinsic, male characteristics, men are more like to bottle up feelings that eventually are released in a morbid or unacceptable way. Unisexification and discouraging males from being males, actually contributes to their sometimes-disturbing behavior toward women.

Am I saying that aggression, decisiveness, cynicism, sarcasm, focus, constructiveness, drive and goal-orientation are primarily male attributes? YES I AM.

Am I saying females can not or do not have any of these traits? I certainly am not! Males and females can share all sorts of characteristics that can be deemed either male or female. But this is not about males and females, but more about masculine and feminine energies, and their differences.

As we all know, there are masculine females, and feminine men. There is nothing wrong with this, but people with masculine qualities will attract people with feminine qualities and vice-versa. I surmise that a perfect balance can really only be achieved with a most-manly man, in touch with is feminine side, and a feminine lady, in touch with her masculine size, as reflected in a YIN-YANG symbol. Both energies are required to fulfill the symbol of perfect harmony. Each piece is uniquely made to compliment the other, creating a mutually beneficial balance, that can not be achieved without each polar opposite power forging together to create a new, unique and even more powerful and beautiful energy.

So the mystery has been solved, opposites really do attract? Actually… Not really. In part II we will explore why “the opposite’s attract” notion is a double-edged sword in the world of dating and gender interaction.

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It is pretty common knowledge that opposites attract. We know that magnets with opposite polarity attract, so the common cliché is actually a law of nature. However, rather than boring you with scientific evidence to prove this is true, let me cut right to the chase: In part one of this article, I argued that opposites do attract, and both the feminine energy and the masculine energy are required for attraction to occur (which is mostly an inexplicable chemistry) and for a fulfilling relationship to ensue.

But don’t birds of a feather flock together? And don’t people who “have so much in common” usually have successful relationships? Sure they do. But this contradicts what I’ve been saying all along. Is it similarities or differences that are the key to a perfectly balanced union? Therein lies the important question, which actually has a much more simple answer than one might think.

According to a University of Iowa study on mating issues (mating based on similar or opposite characteristics), which studied 291 newlyweds that had participated in the Iowa Marital Assessment Project, researchers found with very strong evidence that people tend to marry those who are similar in attitudes, religion and values. They also found that these were the main reasons why people got married. However, it is similarity in personality that appears to be more important in having a happy marriage. The findings appear in the February 2005 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association (APA). The couples were assessed on a broad range of personality characteristics, attitudes and relationship quality indicators.

The research suggested that, “there is no evidence that opposites attract.” The study was fascinating and comprehensive, but their conclusion wasn’t. The word “attraction” usually refers to the initial feelings a person has that spark an interest in the other. So in the realms of courting dating and sexuality, being opposite and different, is fulfilling in many ways. Mystery, anticipation and excitement, curiosity and adventure all come from experiencing something different. Sure opposites clash, but that is often where the sparks and the passion is created. You can create heat without any friction (know what I mean?)

This is where many couples that start off well go really wrong. Many relationships are built on the foundation of sexual attraction or simply lust. Those are fleeting feelings and certainly not enough to make a relationship work. If people don’t want the same things, or have different values and beliefs, the relationship is bound for failure.

Personality and attitude similarities are VERY important also. But these characteristics often come out later, as a relationship progresses and eventually settles. Frequently people are too involved by the time they realize the differences and people often “settle” while feeling unfulfilled.

Opposites attract in dating, courting and during escalated sexual tension, but opposites certainly clash when it comes to personality, attitudes and values. So to have the best of both worlds, you must establish and lay out your beliefs, values and what you want out of life right away. Masculine energies and feminine energies are opposites, but do not cause harmful and destructive clashes in relationships when they are balanced out.

About the Author

"Jack of all trades and master of none"... Luigi Di Serio is an ad hoc, freelance writer and web site developer who owns over 100 web sites! Holding a degree in Urban Planning and specializing in strategic business intelligence, security, espionage, sociology and human interactionism (including relationship).

The Greatest Principle Of Human Persuasion

2005-04-04T16:05:00.000-05:00

The Power of Charisma: http://gettingrichfast.com/charisma/index.html

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by David Bell

If I could gift to you one piece of knowledge about human engineering that would assure your success in your network marketing endeavors. If I could share with you one principle, which when applied correctly while engaging your suspects, prospect, clients, friends and family, would enable you to win more of them over. If I could pass on to you what I believe to be "the rule", the greatest principle of human persuasion that exists, it would be this....

Before I disclose this great principle of human persuasion to you, you should be aware that you do not need to obtain any additional education, training nor instructions. I must emphasis, if there is any thing worth remembering, it is this...."there is no other principle or rule on human persuasion which is even a close second."

What is this great principle of human persuasion? What is this pre-existing ability which you possess, that can improve your network marketing outcome? Which single principle of human persuasion would I share with you if I could reveal but one?
It is this..."People are persuaded more by the depth of your conviction than by the height of your logic, more by your own enthusiasm than any proof you can offer." Put another way, "people are converted not to your way of thinking, they are persuaded more by your way of feeling, your way of believing."

Your conviction, your enthusiasm, your belief in what you are doing is what sells. Your feelings, your emotions, your honest interest in your product and your prospect is what persuades. Your optimism, your assurances, your hope, when combined with knowledge of what you are doing, enjoyment of what you are doing, and faith that you and yours are the very best, creates an unseen force which can not be resisted.
People are turned on by your feelings, not by what you say. The belief is in you, not in what you are selling. They buy because you ask them to, not because they need your product or service.

Do you understand what is being said here? Do you get it?

Your vigorous enthusiasm, your concentrated knowledge, and your stimulating belief in yourself, in your products, in your service and in what you do, makes you practically hypnotic in persuasive powers. The most persuasive person in the world is that individual who has a fanatical belief in their idea, in their product and in their service.

Study the top money earners and leaders in MLM/NWM and you will find this common denominator, "they all have a burning desire to be the very best at what they are do." Their belief is sincere enough and deep enough that they walk in a climate of positive expectancy. They have an obsession that cannot be denied. This is the ultimate in human persuasion.

So how do I create this persuasive power, you are probably asking yourself? How do I infuse my personality so that I become practically hypnotic? What do I do to develop into the ultimate human persuader? It is very simple.

I am going to quote Will Rogers, because he keeps it simple; "You must know what you are doing." "You must love what you are doing." and "You must believe in what you are doing."

These three directives are the answer. They are all that you need to achieve the success that you want. Study them. Internalize them. Have faith in them. Make them a part of your daily practices.

They can lead you to success.

I hear you saying, "but I work on the internet." How do I apply this to my internet marketing practices?

That my friend is grist for our next communication. The hour is late, I am tired and must rest now. Forget not the words that I have shared with you here. Apply them daily. The answer to you last question will follow shortly.
I hope this helps in your future marketing decisions.

About the Author

David Bell
http://www.wspromotion.com/
Advertising research and development center

Well, hello there.

2005-03-31T07:14:00.000-05:00

http://gettingrichfast.com/charisma/index.html
The Power Of Charisma
-----------------

You know…there's something about you I like. I can't put my finger on it…and it's not just the fact that you purchased this ebook…but there's something about you that makes you attractive.

You've got charisma!

How do I know? I know you've got charisma because you're open to the world around you and ready to learn new things that the universe has to offer. And if there's one characteristic you always find in charismatic people, it's openness.

So, I think I've got your pegged right when I say you've got charisma. Even if you don't know it yet.

Charisma is easy to spot. You could probably name a dozen "charismatic" people you know in politics, the entertainment industry, or your personal life. But even though it's easy to spot, charisma isn't so easy to break down into its key components.

The "It" Factor
It's not so easy to identify exactly what it is about a person that makes him or her charismatic. You know that someone's got "it;" you just can't quite define what "it" is.

Charisma is an attractiveness that goes beyond good looks…an appeal that can’t be labeled…a captivating quality that isn't the result of simple intellectual brilliance or a terrific sense of humor.

Most people see charisma as something elusive and unachievable—a kind of magical, mysterious magnetism that you’re either born with or not. And the fact is that nothing could be further from the truth!

Charisma isn't a function of DNA. It can be developed…

and it can be developed by YOU.

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Learn how to make yourself irresistible:
http://gettingrichfast.com/charisma/index.html